PARANOIA: Is Somebody Watching Me?

Somehow the new year has brought some old fears. I came into the dive for the first time in the new year on Friday Night. Gin was behind the bar. The bar had a few regulars, Brad, Dino, and others greeted me and were really in a good mood. Candy was in the dive and she was her typically cheerful self. Gin was cordial but just a little worn down.

I asked for Miller in the bottle, “none in here”said Gin. Alright, I’ll go high end and order a Peroni, “none of that either”. O.K., I’ll have the Amstel, “NOPE” Gin said after searching for it. I said to Gin, “Apparently Bossman knew I was going to be here tonight and told you not to sell me any beer. What month last year did Bossman stock the bar?” After some laughing from the bar Gin said there was some Heineken Lights, so I started with that.

Gin seemed uneasy about my apparent disgust of having commented about the bar displaying beer it couldn’t sell. Everybody found a distraction, Candy, Gin and all the dart team was throwing darts. One by one the old crew faded out and the youngsters were in the bar. Gin’s friend the Mortgage Lady asked for a beverage. Of course it was not in stock, but on display. Gin was pissed because she could do nothing about it.

I asked her, why are you so uneasy, Gin told me why. I won’t go into detail about what she said but she thinks the dive can see us. I relaxed Gin and her friend by sharing my rock and roll dream. I spoke about a bar where the patrons bring their own liquor and share beverages with their friends, where bartenders were tipped because they were beautiful, not because there was beer. I spoke of a place where the music was rockin and everyone was totally cool.

I shared a vision of super shots and monster spirits in black cans. It was my dream, it was an awesome dream, to those who heard, it felt real. A dream deep inside, a dream so wild, if only the walls had eyes it would have seen the stares and the “amen’s” and sighs. If the walls had eyes, like, if the bar had beer, the dive itself would have had a good time. If only.

So I came back on Sunday, greeted ERL and Evie and other regulars, I found Yaega behind the bar, encouraging some new faces to come back. A small group of us were in the dive when the Giants beat Tampa Bay. I went down the list of beers with Yaega who said to me, “don’t even start, I’ll get what you had last night.” I said, “really.” “Don’t you know the dive ran out of that too.” I had Beck’s, it was the only beer left beside Corona’s.

Cary laughed so hard he wiped tears from his eyes after going through what looked like an Abbot and Costello routine between me and Yaega over the beer. Eventually Biker Bob came in and everyone had gone except Yaega, Biker Bob and me. I asked for change of a $20 and couldn’t help but notice the quick glance up done by Yaega. So I asked her, what are you lookin at? “The walls have eyes” said Yaega.

“Really Yaega.” “Really RJ”. “Like where?” (I asked because I was being nosey) Yaega mentioned a location I hadn’t considered. “The kitchen, your kidding Yaega” said Biker Bob.

“I’m not, and when I told one of the bartenders about it she freaked out because she thinks that no one should know how she likes to ‘have close up fun’.” Me and Biker Bob had the same thought and both mentioned the words internet and porn at the same time.

The dive started to fill up again so we decided to change the subject. The Met Fan, Hector and Ellie, Chucky, and a few others showed up just before Rhoda took the night shift. I stayed long enough to watch the Chargers beat the Titans. I will consider my first weekend at the dive in this new year. If the walls have eyes, I hope it can see the need for beer. If the dive can speak, I hope it tells Bossman that this is a bar and it would be nice to sell several brands of beer.

(I noticed the high tech jukebox finally has some Zeppelin on it) This week I will go to a bar where the bartenders have curvy hips, big tits, and serve cold beer of nearly all brands. A place where I don’t have to imagine, but drink my beer.

RJ.