Bartenders: Performing a Threeway Service

I went to Bronkos at the end of the week to visit “G”. I had visited a few doctors and dealt with some other business that left me burnt out. So I figured I’d go to a place that I could mellow out.

Sure enough, the place was clean as usual and “G” was looking her usual self (damn good). The place was half full and the Government worker crowd was about an hour away. I ordered a beer and asked about other beers. “G” had them all in stock. Nirvana? For that moment, yeah.

Now every bar has its moments and I was about to witness one that got me to thinking about something called “integrity”. “G” had a female customer, a blonde in her late 40’s in a patterned shirt, pink sweater and deerskin boots. She wasn’t loud but she was definitely floating on whatever she was drinking. “G” asked her if she was alright, she replied “Oh Yeah” I’m fine.” Two minuets later she leaned back passed out on her stool and crashed to the deck.

Her spilled drink was all over the floor, it took three men and one woman to get her up on her stool. “G” cut her ass off immediately and asked her if she wanted a cab. “I’ll take the bus.” Bitch couldn’t walk but wobbled like a ‘weeble’. (Kiddy commercial from the 70’s ‘weebles wobble but they don’t fall down) Bitch asked for another drink. “G” said, “No booze, seltzer, soda or water but no booze…your cut off.”

When the bitch hit the deck a woman came from the back with her head wrapped in a scarf, wearing overalls and an oversize flannel shirt, I didn’t recognize her at first but it was “Bosslady”. Bitch yelled and screamed and threatened “G” with violence. This was met with a round of jeering and counter threats from the easy going crowd that just turned into a mob. “G” was calming the crowd when the drunken Bitch threatened to call the cops on “G” if not served.

Bosslady came from the back and watched as “G” recited the number to the 1st Precinct to the Bitch who was too drunk to use her cell phone. “If you don’t serve me a drink I’ll leave a note for your boss.” Bosslady spoke, “No note needed, I saw everything and I also reviewed the video, did you have a complaint.” “Bartender won’t serve me, I want a drink,” said the Bitch.

Bosslady said “The bartender is responsible to the bar, the customer and the community, my bartender is exercising that responsibility…be nice like my bartender and leave.” The bitch staggered out the door swearing to call the cops. She staggered into the Nassau County Patrol car that had just pulled up. Bosslady had called the cops while reviewing tapes in the office. Bitch was escorted to a bus stop where she promptly boarded the first bus at the curb.

I have seen much bullshit in bars. I have often seen or heard of Owners trying to kiss the drunkards ass instead of backing their bartender. This was a first for me, an owner who unconditionally backed her bartender without hesitation or any purpose of evasion. The Bosslady even asked how she could help her Bartender, “G” with the incoming crowd while she, the boss, was setting up for a party. That bar is run like a tactical unit.

It made me feel good to be there, even after the drama. Bosslady gave a round to the house for backing up her bartender.



I thought about something that happened at the dive in the no so distant past. Some bartenders aren’t so lucky, some bartenders don’t have an owner who looks out for them. Some bartenders get cursed out, derided, humiliated, insulted, robbed, beaten and some get raped or killed. Here in the dive back in August 2007 an incident took place between a bartender and a patron. Even if you believed that a bartender is an asshole or slow to serve, it isn’t your right to abuse them.

To take a quote from a blog entry back in August 16th, 2007, Titled “When Dino Attacks”, by SD, “The point here is that a guy of character, while engaged in the performance of his dutiful employment, was subjected to a physical assault upon his person by a regular patron of the bar. What justification could there be for this? Is this acceptable behavior for 1762 Broadway?”

That brings me forward to the recent past, when I saw Shelly have to square away an asshole or two on a Saturday Night in December last. What happens if there are no regulars around to look after a bartender or the regulars can’t stop the shit from hitting the fan and a bartender gets hurt? I’m quite sure the health care plan offered by the Owners will take care of all medical costs and mental health treatment. I have other fantasies too. (Bartenders shift pay is often not quite minimum wage)

We, who frequent bars are often in moods that range from ecstasy to grief, from elation to aggravation, from mellow to vicious and all things in between, often we don’t care about anything but a drink. But we do not have the right to treat our bartenders like slave wenches on a porn barge. If ever a bartender does anything that would cause you to think about assaulting them, do find a way out of the door and stay out. The crowd probably doesn’t want you around anyway.

If you ever get denied service by a bartender, stay as pissed off as long as you want, but thank them for looking out for your miserable life. I can only hope bar owners protect their bartenders by penalizing ignorant customers and backing the bartenders play. Integrity at work is not just a bartender who stands up for right, but a bar owner that will back the bartender all the way.

Drink safely, be responsible and be considerate. Nobody wants to bury your ass.

Love

RJ