Marine Corps Birthday Toast – A Reflection
There have been several times in my life I really thought I was wasting my time doing anything for or in a bar. Most of the time you get people who only show up to chow down and drink enough booze to push it all back up again. I have seen it happen in many establishments, ruining the occasion because most forgot what they showed up for in the first place. Ruby told me this could be different. It was very different.
It had been a plan between the ‘staff’ and myself to provide food and a ‘veterans service pin’,presented to every veteran attending, as a commemoration of the event. A good ships bell that was donated by a Marine (guess who) and a plaque to mount it on delivered by an old Master Sergeant from the Army Airborne was made ready for mounting. After setting up flags, uniforms, photos and posters to set the right mood along with a portable amplifier. We were ready.
The informal toast is a reminder to me, information which I shared with all, that the Marine Corps was founded in a bar, Tun Tavern, in Pennsylvania. This country’s first fighting force was formed and recruited while drinks were being served, while people shared raunchy conversation and loud talk. It wasn’t much different this year except that the drinks, the shots, found their meaning in those we drank too.
Breezy found the Kraut’s tools and mounted the bell. Mr. E loved it. (That is when he saw it mounted) We opened by standing and saying the pledge, playing the Star Spangled Banner and toasting the United States of America. (I was the MC, maybe if this is done in the future we can find someone to do it better). We then toasted the active duty Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Coast Guard and Marines.
When we started toasting those Veterans still breathing and among us the ‘Lounge’ came alive with a good feeling of old fashioned Americanism. We toasted the Airborne, we toasted each other and said really meaningful heartfelt sentiments that really made me happy. I was totally motivated by the evening. The attraction of the evening was the POW/MIA Observance set up in the back of the lounge. It was haunting and provocative, the POW/MIA flag under blacklight with three white roses.
During the evening Mary and her friend came in and were really having a great time. Then we got to the last toasts to those who had fallen. During the bottom half of the hour when everyone got going toasting each other Mary told me about her late husband, James a Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant who forced the war to make sense to himself and to his superiors in every way he possibly could. He didn’t succeed.
Rather than admit his mission was a failure, that the good sons and fathers he commanded were sacrificed for no apparent good reason, or that what he did wouldn’t matter under a new command he confronted his superiors in the only way he could make them understand. Command is a matter of honor, you get command when you demonstrate beyond all doubt you can lead, to keep his honor clean he fell on his sword.
That’s the polite way of saying he didn’t get the help he needed when he needed it.
When a warrior falls, for reasons the protected may never understand, it wounds the collective soul of the nation. Not only must we put away a warrior, but what happens to the lives of those who support them? What happens to the Wives who become widows and the sons and daughters who become fatherless? Mary told me what happens, the government quietly discards them and runs them through red tape and heartache even before the warrior is in the ground.
Mary told me of the Tragedy Assistance Program or TAPS. Founded out of tragedy in 1994, TAPS has grown and established itself as the front line resource to families and loved ones of our military men and women. TAPS has provided comfort and care, 24hours a day, 7 days a week through comprehensive services and programs including peer based emotional support, case work assistance, crisis intervention, and grief and trauma resources.
Mary told me of how TAPS uses The Power of Women. A tradition in Iraq has becomes a Fundraiser for TAPS. Many Iraqi women give away jewelry to their friends. They often wear many of these beautiful beaded bracelets to have one available to give when the opportunity presents itself. It means more to them to share a gift and show their love than to have a material possession, even something precious.
TAPS has a limited number of these bracelets, made by Iraqi Women out of gratitude to United States Service Members. The bracelet Mary wore was beautiful, given to her by another widow. After Mary gave a dedication to her husband and we toasted his service, Norm put the Gunny’s Picture on the plaque mounting the bell. Mary hugged me and gave me her bracelet.
I let her know quickly I was not worthy of such a gift. I gave some, her husband Gunnery Sergeant James Gallagher, gave all. I felt quite humbled as her tears fell upon me as she held my hand. Mary must have felt we did all this for her and the Gunny. All I wanted was an evening where the citizen and those who served could informally celebrate each other and really appreciate what it is to be American.
I didn’t stay long after the last toast. My heart was loaded, not my snout. I sat up the rest of the night looking at the picture of my late wife standing under the name of my cousin, engraved on the Vietnam Memorial (AKA- The Wall). Last year I was outraged, this year, I am humbled beyond my pitiful attempt to describe just how deeply I am moved.
DO THIS! Go to http://www.taps.org/ Please help support TAPS and other programs for the families of those who have died in the military by buying the Baghdad Bracelet to wear and, in the tradition of the Iraqi women, to share. Leave a donation no matter how small. If you can buy a drink you can help the widow of a fallen warrior, if you can park your ass on a bar stool then give your time, be a volunteer, give something.
This was a very different ‘Informal Toast’. I leave you only with these words from an Unknown Marine, “For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the protected will never know.”
11.15.2008
Her Tears On My Birthday
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7 comments:
I'm extremely happy that this years experience was more rewarding for you. It was a first for me. I'm glad I missed the previous one.
It was a very nice event and it looked like everyone was enjoying themselves during the toasts, in between them and let's not forget afterwards, too.
I've been told by a certain source that "1762 Broadway Lounge" was the only bar in the 5 Towns to have any kind of special trubute to our Veterans this year.
I hope to attend another one there next year.
I heard from a friend about this event. I'm glad that all veterans were welcome to a Marine Corps birthday party. If you have this next year, could you please use the time also to raise funds for the widows and survivors of Iraq and Afghanistan?
You all seem to be really good and decent people, I ask this because I didn't realize that we had people living on Long Island that had lost people in this stupid conflict.
Thanks for being a patriot.
I'm going to leave a video tribute from picts taken at the Toast and from picts I found of Mary and of Gunny Gallagher. As soon as I get things together I will add it to the post.
I meant to get everyday people to realize that someone out there called a 'Veteran'is paying a high price for us to live the way we do. I found that this year this 'Toast' has me thinking that everyday people should get involved in the healing process of the Veterans of the current wars.
These Wars are different. They have men who have sworn an oath to life and death believing they are betrayed and alone.
I believe now that every day an American lives free is Veterans Day.
Not to downgrade your post or return comment but I saw a lot of citizens that night who appreciate what this country has given them and respect the soldiers who went and still go to fight for us.
Although your aim was to honor the Marine Corps 233rd Birthday and Veterans Day combined, you seemed, in your writing, to focus on the tragedy that happened when this Marine returned home. While, in good taste, not mentioning the act this soldier committed after returning home was probably appreciated by his wife, children and family, your portrayal of heroism in this case was not up to par according to your standings.
Your post kind of irked me, not because you focused on one individuals inability to handle whatever he had to face.......no, I'm lying, yes, that is what irked me and this bothers me because as a former Marine yourself, how can you be so strong and someone else so weak? You are right about alot of things including citizens helping returning Veterans to deal with what they had to go through, but as a Marine (Uber-Soldier) wouldn't you think that the people who let this man come home to his family would check his mental status prior to releasing him from duty? Honorable or dishonorable (not to say Gunny was dishonorable, he wasn't) our military has its responsibilities also. What is the VA doing for these men? How can an ordinary citizen help these men? I can only talk to people and with an empathetic ear and heart listen to them. This countries VA hospitals have real doctors and psychiatrists working and either the military or the hospital is dropping the ball.
If you or other Veterans I see almost everyday did not commit a mortal sin after all they saw, then why did the soldier you wrote about do it? One word (no disrespect intended, AT ALL!!)
and that word is "Weakness". Another word is "Selfish".
Maybe, in your post, you should have mentioned, roundabout of course, the truth of the matter.
I apologize for being confused and a bit harsh but to focus on one when there are so many more is just unthinkable. What about the men who gave their lives while actually fighting (on the battlefield )for this country? You need to post another article with this in mind. I think we need to hear about this subject from another point of view....can you go there? I think you can, so how about honoring the true fallen? I'm not saying that "Gunny" wasn't one of those, but don't think that we all didn't notice that you gave props to no one else but this poor soul, not mentioning that his wife and children bore witness to his demise. Who are the real heroes besides those who have given their lives and not taken their lives? The answer can only be the families they torture with selfish acts. This sin is not forgiven by me, sorry to be hard-ass about it but who is suffering? Not him.
Please re-read Psalm 23: (For some reason I find this to be a joyous prayer and not a funeral ritual. If the Lord takes you it must be for a reason. If you take you it's a different story)
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.....
I hope I didn't offend. I just needed to state my point of view regarding your post which was a little biased. That is my opinion as an American citizen and thank you for fighting for my 1st Ammendment Right to Freedom of Speech.
Respectfully......You know who
To You Know Who and all who read this comment
I did, with profound and deliberate intent focus the latter part of the blog entry on this man and his sacrifice.
Attempting to explain the bitter realities that go into the empirical dynamics of modern warfare, including the physical and psychological damage that it affects to those who never have been in harms way would be like explaining the foundations of calculus to one who had not mastered addition or subtraction.
The people who let this man and hundreds other like him to come home without checking him are the same people who sent him in the first place, The DOD, Dept. of the Navy, Headquarters Marine Corps and finally CENTCOM.
Unlike other branches of the service, Marines can be sent anywhere, anytime on the orders of the President of the United States for up to 180 days without consent of the Congress.
The dark reality of this war is that men have been committed to the act of war for more than one year. In WWII, men were given R&R outside of the Combat area long enough to be evaluated physically and psychologically.
In Vietnam, men were not required in any branch of the service to do more than one tour, although many Marines would volunteer for a second tour. Many Marines today are on their third and fourth tours in a Combat Area.
The sights, smells, anxiety, boredom, terror and elation of war can barely be described in words. It’s like only having shadows to explain the reality of light. Many hard, honorable, unwavering, stalwart and upstanding man has been broken by the unmentioned realities of war.
How do you deal with watching a friend die because you just couldn’t get to him? How do you deal with being the only man left alive in your squad after a fire fight?
The ‘assumption’ by the civilian authorities who send men to war is that they are so cold, hard, trained killers that if they can survive shooting, hacking and slashing the enemy, they will be relieved to just get home. Again, assumption proves to be the mother of all fuck ups.
From the American Civil War and every conflict since in which men have fought, some men, after coming back to their homes have committed suicide.
The other ‘assumption’ that these men were weak or somehow less durable than the men they led in battle or bled with in vicious fighting is a fallacy. Lewis B. “Chesty” Puller, Jr, son of a Lieutenant General of Marines , son of the most decorated Marine who ever lived, committed suicide.
Captain Charles B. McVay, US Navy, was held responsible for the Japanese sinking the USS Indianapolis when the truth was quite different. He committed suicide. Captain McVay was posthumously exonerated by Congress in the year 2000.
Merritt A. Edson, Major General of Marines, One of the two Colonel’s who founded the Marine Corps Raiders took his 1st Marine Corps Raider Battalion in hand to hand combat with the Japanese at the Battle of Tulagi, Savo Island, Tasimboko and Guadalcanal committed suicide in 1955.
Edson's leadership helped make it possible for the Marine Corps to morph into the greatest Combined Arms fighting force on earth.
It is the ugliest form of self righteousness to think that men who have delivered freedom to the free will go to hell for falling on their sword.
Who can fathom the infinite mercy of an Almighty God to spare sons who could not escape from the hell on earth they have rescued countless others from. Surely as God will keep them, we must help them.
Who said anything about "hell"? In my religion there is no "hell" there is just life here on earth (which I am told is considered purgatory) and then it's "Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust". But there is also no mention in my religion about where you go when you commit suicide.
I guess we'll know when we get to wherever we are going or not going when we die. My point (in the comment which was not enabled) was that I cannot understand why someone would do this to his wife and children. It's a horror that was preventable (he obviously knew he wasn't right in the head if he had to go to this extreme) and you would think that a man who faced things that mere civilians never will would have been able to deal with it no matter what. Why put the living through this heartache and heartbreak? Especially your children. I'm sorry that my opinion is not to some peoples liking, but it's a point of view that many people share. Suicide is not an acceptable way out. It's an easy way out.
To say that the civilians in this country, especially New York City, Washington, DC and Pennsylvania have not witnessed and experienced war like acts, which killed thousands of people all at once, is not considered "in harms way"? There is your "Assumption proves to be the mother of all fuck ups" (since you like using that phrase so much lets turn the tides a bit) September 11, 2001, remember that? Was that not psychologically, emotionally and for some, physically damaging to everyone? That was being in harms way to the 10th power. Soldiers aren't the only ones to witness things that are too awful to deal with.
Moving on to the suicide issue, rank and ribbons do not equal mentally or pschologically fit. It should not be considered an honor to kill yourself. Your only going to hurt your loved ones. Sure, the person who kills himself will have no more pain and won't have to deal with or get help for what caused it afterwards, but his family will. SELFISHNESS is no excuse to leave your family feeling helpless, hopeless and wishing they could have done something more to help. I'm sure the family feels worse than the person who kills themselves. Actually, I'm positive.
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