Friday Night at the Lounge

Ruby was behind the bar when I walked in the door, Brad was with his boss, Knucklehead, shooting pool. Thank goodness Timmy was at the bar talking to none other than Breezy. (Breezy shaved his beard and moustache) Breezy was in and out but had a friend with him this afternoon, I couldn’t believe that she was not at work, but there she was, Shelly hanging out in what was once the ancient dive now known as ‘the Lounge’.

All was cool when Timmy and I hijacked the jukebox and got everybody into that singing kind of mood. Shelly waited for a cab and Breezy said he would be back later. Breezy never came back and I’m not sure Shelly got into a cab. Chucky walked in without his four legged side kick who was probably out to stud all the bitches in the neighborhood. Chucky filled me in on the adventures of his neighbor, Pimp.

Pimp was in the Lounge yesterday doing what he usually does, offer girls or other goods for sale. Pimp is constantly trying to sell something, but Thursday he nearly bought himself a reservation at the Nassau County Jail. Apparently he didn’t pay to much attention to the clientele in the Lounge, three new faces came in and ordered drinks. Ruby, having her doubts, asked where they were from and then asked for ID. Good call, they were all Detectives, Nassau Counties finest.

Pimp walked in after Ruby found this out and asked one of them if he was interested in a Korean girl looking for a companion and American Citizenship. Although he slurred his words and dropped his cell phone he wasn’t hauled off to jail. Apparently he had packages for sale to but slipped on his way out to the car and when he got in it he stayed there. Pimps new buddies left but asked about him and they left a number for Pimp to call to follow up on his offers.

There was a group of females at the front of the bar from the local Vets office up the block. They were partying pretty good, I’ll call them Conchita (Vet assistant bitten by dogs), Reebie and Sade’. As Timmy and Chucky filled me in on Shelly and Jon’s fishing adventure, Ruby was relieved by Jaime who has weird luck on her Friday Night shifts. Jaime claims she gets weirdo’s and creeps on Friday’s. This night would be a small exception.

The Met Fan was in to watch the game and have a good time, his buddies were in the bar and he was having a good time. Then Conchita’s husband, Julio showed up and started a whole lot of shit, pushing Conchita around like a heavy bag on a chain. Then the punches, pulling and screaming went on, the Met Fan left the bar like it caught fire as Timmy attempted to bring peace to the Lounge.

When Julio told Timmy to ‘get the fuck away’ in his broken spanglish, Jamie dropped a dime and the cops showed up. Julio apparently ripped out Conchita’s nipple ring before he left the bar after finding out the cops were on the way. Conchita’s girlfriends kept shit going with Julio as he ducked into his car and took off. Conchita was madder than a rabid dog. Cops showed up, took statements and left, but Conchita and her girlfriends stayed for even more drinks.

Conchita was a firecracker and a half, talking a mile a minuet and convinced she was going to have Julio arrested. Cho’ showed up as Julio ran off and Cho’ got Julio’s license number. Conchita kept shit going, but Timmy got her cooled off in a New York minuet and then Conchita apologized. Ruby showed up to find out what the fuck was going on and was with her boyfriend.

Jaime’s boyfriend and his buddy showed up then left when they realized the cops had driven off.
Jaime was pissed off that she was essentially alone and had no one to back her up. Enter Mr. E’s brother, Suave. He was in to fix up the bar and work in the basement, he saw the goings on and didn’t even worry when he saw Timmy working the room. He went back to work. Jaime was straight up worried because she felt threatened by Conchita who now blamed her for the mess Conchita made herself. Jaime kept serving her liquor during and after the fight.

Before this totally turned into a scene from Pulp Fiction or a scene from a Kubrik movie, Mr. E. showed up. By this time everybody was cooling off and Mr. E was devouring a blooming onion from the Outback. Now the Cops were out of sight, I took this time to do the same trick and got out of sight. This was one night I was sorry I hung out. When domestic problems find their way into a bar, there are more problems than meet the eye.

Timmy saw Suave working on the electricity and started laughing to himself. I asked what was so funny. Timmy said, “He reminded me of a redneck joke I heard when I saw him standing up there with that screwdriver.” Tell my Timmy, go ahead! Timmy looked at me and asked, “What are the last words a Redneck says before he dies?” What? “Y’all Watch This.”


RJ