Observances & Celebrations

Labor Day and other National Observances

I got to Bronko’s early Friday evening to catch the baseball games and the football game. I was rung out from busting my ass getting my yard squared away and making sure my wood gets stacked for the winter (fuck the oil companies and may all the curses in the book of Deuteronomy be upon every profiteering asshole in them). I sat in my chair, dazed from the day and hurting all over, staring into oblivion as I sat down.

“Hey, are you O.K.?" “G” looked at me like I was getting ready to go ballistic on someone. “Yeah, I’m O.K., just looking forward to getting away from long island” can I get a glass of tonic water “G”? “O.K. just tell me what the hell is going on with you, your not like yourself at all”, “G” then brought me the tonic water and I told her about my Uncle being in the hospital and just feeling like I don’t belong anywhere.

I then told her I wish there was some reason to celebrate before Labor Day, some reason to share a day with a friend. I also told her I haven’t heard from a lady I know for some time and wonder if she is alright. “G” said, “there is always a reason to celebrate and August is full of days to celebrate and observe.” I have no hard time looking at “G” she is 41, 25, 36 and is built like she’s 25, her beautifully accented Etruscan facial features tell of a woman a little older.

The fact I went to school with her and knew her since she was eight, and that she shows off pictures of her newborn grandson tells you a lot more about how old she really is. “G” is still drop dead, jaw dropping gorgeous and the summer clothes she wears keeps men drooling. I almost forgot we were talking about celebrations and observations. “Exactly what are you talking about “G”?”

“Stop staring at my tits and look me in the eye, now there are a lot of observations this month that you can share with people RJ.” O.K., tell me what you know “G”. So off and on between drinks “G” gave me an education about the months of August and September. These are just some of the things she let me know about:

1) Monday the 25th is National Banana Split Day. Its also Kiss and Make Up Day.

2) Tuesday the 26th is Women’s Equality Day a/k/a Susan B. Anthony Day. “G” was quite particular about letting me know how important this holiday is to her.

3) Thursday the 28th is Dream Day (Martin Luther King Jr. gave his famous "I Have a Dream" speech during civil rights rally at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. in 1963.) I did not know that this was a day of observance on the National Calendar. I was surprised a genius bartender knew this and I didn’t.

4) Saturday, August 30th is National Toasted Marshmallow Day. I told “G” she had to be kidding and making this shit up. “G” said “if you actually start buying yourself a drink instead of sipping tonic water I’ll tell you some observations in September that could be a lot of fun.
So I bought a beer and we continued this conversation between her serving drink while men drooled looking at her seriously sensuous cleavage. I started to think about ways to observe some of these days in a quiet special way. I also thought about some people I would like to share them with.

“G” started up again about September and the back to the grind mentality everyone has after Labor Day. I said yeah, “because there are no National Observances during September, I do know of some cultural observances but really nothing to actually ‘observe’.” “G” said “you really need to get a life and learn to live it…let me tell you what’s going on next month:

5) “The first week in September is National Payroll Week.” “‘G’ what is the purpose of this why spend a whole week celebrating a paycheck that gets spent in hours.” “Listen RJ National Payroll Week celebrates the hard work by America's 156 million wage earners and the payroll professionals who pay them. Together, through the payroll withholding system, they contribute, collect, report and deposit approximately $1.7 trillion, or 64.2%, of the annual revenue of the U.S. Treasury.” Great follow to Labor Day.

6) “The second week of September is both Assisted Living Week and Suicide Prevention Week RJ.” “I can understand Suicide Prevention Week following National Payroll Week, either you lament a lousy wage, job or unemployment to the point of depression or get upset realizing your taxes are financing the shipping of our jobs overseas ‘G’”.

7) “The third week of September is Constitution Week RJ.” “Really ‘G’”. “Yeah, you should know this Mr. History Man, the Congress, by joint resolution of February 29, 1952 (36 U.S.C. 106), designated September 17 as "Citizenship Day," and by joint resolution of August 2, 1956 (36 U.S.C. 108), requested that the President proclaim the week beginning September 17 and ending September 23 of each year as "Constitution Week." (I didn’t know that and I was impressed she did).

8) “The fourth week of September is Deaf Awareness Week, Dog Week, and Banned Books Week RJ. “How is it you know all this ‘G’?” “My kids are in the education business, but I will read the blog during Banned Books week…which, if an employer caught employees reading could get you banned from the office RJ.”

“So did we find a reason for you to look forward to tomorrow RJ?” “Your fine European frame is enough to get me to look forward to tomorrow, now I just have something to consider doing during the coming days and weeks. Thanks for the pep talk ‘G’.” I stuck around to shoot pool to the late night side of morning. I won every game, I just couldn’t miss.

RJ

Another Point of View

Thoughts and Observations by N.F. Pluto

Being from another planet, N.F. takes the time to note the following thoughts and observations about mankind, the United States and living in a ‘free country’. Note: These are his observations and must be kept in the context of an alien (Plutonian) who has migrated and now lives on earth. N.F. Pluto is in the interstellar transport business.

The keg was going dry on the back of the pick up, we were enjoying some suds as we watched dumb Darryl's barn burn to the ground. Darryl did not want to pay the new tax assessment. I had a conversation with N.F. about the country and its leadership. Which brought us to the subject of politics. This is N.F. going off:

“On my planet we don’t have a ‘government’. Think that’s impossible? Listen!
This is too true to be funny. The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it's releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C. A billion hours ago your ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate your government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain...let's take a look at New Orleans ...It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...what does it mean?

A. Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, and child) you each get $516,528.
B. Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
C. Or... if you are a family of four...your family gets $2,066,012.

'Washington, D. C. HELLO!'

Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS SHIT IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...and the United States was the most prosperous nation in the world.We had absolutely no national debt... We had the largest middle class in the world... and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened?Can you spell 'politicians!' And I still have to press '1' for English.”


I asked N.F. if others should be hearing the words of wisdom from a Plutonian mind and the answer was ‘why not’, “Americans hear and believe what passes for wisdom from liars, deceivers and Paris Hilton, why not hear the truth from me”. I asked N.F. how people should deal with the days ahead, foreclosures, high oil and gas, war and an election.

N.F. said, Everybody should do as Dr. Timothy Leary said, “Think for yourself and question authority.”


RJ

Generation Gaps

“O.K., we have set up an open MRI for you and you will get the details in the mail. I didn’t think you would panic but you are a big guy and that is a very small space” said the tech as he attempted to make me feel humiliated about not going through the small MRI machine.

“I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks that unit was not made for a man or woman but for kids or emaciated people.” A coffin had more room than that awful tube. I then walked out of the MRI section, through the mazes of hallways and eventually out the revolving doors of the VA.

I found my way home long enough to pick up my messages and plan for the following day. I then called Ruby and let her know about a new post by Yaega. She wanted me to come on by, I had to see Mom anyway so I headed in that direction. I eventually got to the ‘Lounge’ which is in various stages of renovation. I walked in and the place was empty as Ruby was finishing up scrubbing the place down.

Ruby gave me some unit patches from a combat unit in Korea, which I plan to blog about in the near future. We caught up on recent history, Rhoda being sick and a unique system of covering her absence was discussed at length. Mr. E. has found an imaginative way to fill the vacancy with the day bartender and anyone who would answer the phone. Given that Jamie was fired with little or no fanfare, the temp solutions have panned out nicely.

I told Ruby that I saw Rhoda last week and she’s looking at taking Monday Nights. Ruby told me about new improvements in the works and the visits by Nassau County P.D. (No Jamie, no problems) Slowly, the dive filled with customers, the produce guy from the supermarket down the block, Old Man Charlie and a local from down the block. I thought it would be another slow afternoon as I ordered some food. Then a face I hadn’t seen in months showed up.

Ellie appeared out of nowhere and talked about a new job she’s starting. Eventually Hector showed up soon after. Ruby then got a phone call from Pimp who is still in possession of a leg that is black with gangrene (we know how that will eventually end). Apparently Ruby needed some business advice and Pimp had the answers. Apparently the 72 hours it took for him to give those answers was well beyond Ruby’s limit. Apparently she let him know.

Cary then walked in and he got into a deep conversation with Ellie, I was glad to see Hector who is still at it, working like a dog. Ellie showed off pictures of her kids while she complained of bug bites from sand fleas, then the conversation got to who has endured the worst kind of exposure to pestilence. Palmetto bugs, roaches, mosquitoes and spiders were brought up but no one had tolerated an exposure more than half a heartbeat to any of those creatures, even sand flea’s.

I quietly laughed to myself hearing this bullshit, remembering my experience from Marine Corps boot camp. Ruby asked, “OK, what are you smiling about? Come on, tell me!” I looked at Ruby and briefly told her about being on Paris Island during Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and nearly Valentines Day and my experience with sand fleas. Ruby insisted on hearing the experience so I told her, between drinks and phone calls.

Here is the short version: Platoon 2200 “F” Company, 2nd Battalion on Paris Island was like any other Marine Recruit Platoon. We could march, but not good enough for either the Senior Drill Instructor or his supporting drill instructors. The platoon had two Staff Sergeants and one buck Sergeant, Senior was Japanese, he acted as if Japan won WWII and treated us accordingly. Both of the supporting DI’s were Black and from the South. It was a unique kind of hell.

Senior, in his impeccable English, with a heavy Japanese accent and steady but hard clear voice expressed his lament at our execution of close order drill. “Some of you are the sons and most of you are the daughters of the generation that liberated nations, yet you do not know your right from your left. We are not prepping bitches, we are training Marines” (all of us being male wondered who the bitches were and wanted them out of the platoon) the Senior DI was angry.

After she got free from serving Timmy as he walked in Ruby asked me to continue. I told her Senior marched the Platoon to a muddy area and took the Platoon Guide Iron (a red flag on a pole with ‘2200’ on it in bright yellow letters) rolled it up, turned it upside down and planted it in the mud. Where the flag goes we go, so all dicks were planted in the soggy muddy slime.

Then the Senior talked about how our parents failed at teaching discipline, the apparent femininity of some platoon members, how ugly mothers have stupid sons who have ugly girlfriends and the lack of coordination in most Northerners. Then he marched the platoon (58 of us) into a sand flea nest. He put us at the position of attention while sand fleas ate at us. Senior talked about Baron Von Steuben and how discipline has been part of the Marine Corps.

Meanwhile sand fleas munched on our ears, face, hands and arms inducing mad itching. On that warm January day in South Carolina sweat rolled off of each of us like the New York Kills (small rivers) to the Hudson. I also found out that sand fleas can think, they found ways into ears, into shirts, behind our slimy necks and apparently some recruits had sand fleas crawling up their legs and down their ass, all the while maintaining the position of attention without moving.

Ruby looked at me like I was crazy and said “that’s torture.” I told her “there are several definitions of torture but this really isn’t one of them when the reason for the experience is explained to you in vivid detail by your Senior Drill instructor.” I concluded my sand flea story with the description of the ceremonial internment of a sand flea who was killed after the platoon was given the order to at ease. (Amazingly we marched magnificently from then on)

I explained to Ruby that the real purpose of discipline is to exercise restraint in the face of hardship or a negative environment that taxes your nerves, makes you anxious or just makes you crazy. Ellie then played Rappers Delight by Grand Master Flash, she and Cary were singing the words to Timmy who smiled politely as he kept from spitting up his beer (rap drives Timmy crazy). Ruby looked at Timmy and cringed with a grin wondering what Timmy would do.

Timmy smiled, explained he didn’t know the words to “that stuff” and didn’t care to but appreciated Nellie dancing jiggling and wiggling to the beat with Cary. I then told Ruby what she saw from Timmy was restraint born from a hard discipline, this is what you get in the infantry and in the grunts. Ruby then asked, “why did you have to go to the VA for an MRI?” I said, “to deal with and see the effects of a hard and arduous discipline in my youth.”

Cary invited me to Kareoke at Backstage that night which I did show up for but did not sing. Cary could not find my music, so I went back to the ‘Lounge’ after leaving ‘Backstage’ and found Timmy still there from early afternoon, it was nearing midnight. Timmy was talking to Mr. E. and Sweet Suzie, a hot new young bartender about the service and war. Sweet Suzie freaked over some of the vivid reality and hardship that Timmy described.

Sweet Suzie asked, “how is it you can be so casual about things like pain, hate, destruction and death?” Timmy declared, “we’re not! We just don’t want another generation of American’s screwed up by bad leadership. We want you to know what your kids may have to do to keep their freedom if America is to survive.” Timmy shook his head and retreated to his beer.

“We can’t talk to anyone about the service RJ, they just can’t relate to us, they just don’t understand” said Timmy as he took a long drink of his cold beer. I told Timmy this day we spent too much time describing our experience to teeny boppers and Momma’s boys. The whole day can best be summed up in a quote by an unknown Marine, who said, “For those who fight for it, life has a special flavor the protected will never know.”


RJ

A WORD TO THE "CROWD"

An Open Letter from your Yaegerfrau



The letter below in green was written by Yaega Lee for all of her friends, fans, renegades, regulars, roughnecks, customers, girlfriends, guyfriends and others.

Hey Guys – Yaeger Lee here…Oh, I just can’t describe how I miss you. As many of you know I have years of vivid memories, (some not so vivid) of 1762 Broadway.

From the days of the Beverly Lounge I’ve watched the changing of ownerships, bartenders and additional faithful clientele.

“If only the walls could talk”- that would be a frightening ordeal – ouch! Thank God the walls remain quiet.

July 26 – we had a ‘Cheers’ reunion barbeque. Old barbeques consisted of food galore, horseshoes, kites, skidoos, softball, guitars, etc… 75-100 people total throughout the day and “Kids” of all ages. This year was different:

1) The original date proposed (for the reunion) was forecast to rain the entire day. Though one year we rode a day of on and off rain. Unitedly the make shift shelter appeared. Our character shown through again as ‘True Die Hards.’

I refer to that description, well… because we’ve always enjoyed each others company that much and still do. That’s “1762 Broadway!” 2) There was no food, not even a charcoal briquette. A lot of liquids – yes, ice cold Jaeger too. It was on a Friday, an early evening crowd gathered, many staying, turning it into a very late night. “The Kids” were wonderful at all times, the Jr.’s resembled the Sr.’s so much I caught myself in complete awe.

It was great laughing with parts of our long separated family. Definitely want to do it again! Who knows, maybe we’ll run into each other a few more times before summer ends. I’m sure at one point with food, games, more of “Kids” of all ages and with new little ones. As for those who I haven’t had the chance to have some down time with, don’t worry – we will. Patience.

To those I have (spent down time with) – Thanks. Can’t wait ‘til the next encounter.

Ending here with a traditional “Cheers” Bottoms UP.

Posted for Yaega Lee
(Direct your comments to her...she would love to see you say it in writing)

Hippiefest 2008

“No shit Ben, I could go to Hippiefest if I didn’t have to work on your little project. I made a promise and I’m keeping it. If we don’t get your truck fixed today, you’ll wait for next week” said N.F. as he put his tools back in the pick up. “Oh man, look…I don’t know what to do…Becky wants to go, RJ said he would go, and its less than half hour away…we could knock this out in an hour and still be ready to roll” Ben said looking at his truck.

“We’ll see” said N.F. as he slammed the hood down on Ben’s truck. “Start it” said N.F. to Ben as he started the International. The truck started and purred like a tiger, rumbling perfectly. “I should take it out for a test drive N.F. to see how it handles. “So much for going to Woodstock for Hippiefest”, said N.F., walking to his pick up and getting in.

“I’m going home. RJ should be there when I get there. Talk to me later Ben,” N.F. took off pissed and disgusted. Ben wasted N.F.’s time on a truck he won’t even use for another week let alone today. It is a gorgeous Sunday afternoon, about 5 hours from the start of Hippiefest. N.F. wants to get away from Ben and Becky as fast as he can, a keg of Heineken awaits him at home.

Marty and Pennelopie (old couple in their 50’s), friends of Ms. Elly were hanging out with me waiting for N.F. to return. Marty brought his guitar and was playing tunes down by the firepit. N.F. got back talked to Elly, took a shower and crashed. Becky showed up an hour later with tickets to Hippiefest. N.F. told me and Elly to go without him, he wouldn’t go unless he drove or I drove. N.F. said, “RJ, you sure you wanna drive?”

“Sure, (Elly had the dogs wake up N.F.) why not.” We took two cars, N.F., Elly, Ben and Becky were with me, Marty and Pennelopie followed us. Bethel Woods is a beautiful place, in Bethel, N.Y. on the property that was once Max Yasgur’s plowing field, aka “Woodstock”. We got there before the start of the show and checked out what Senator Clinton wanted taxpayers to invest in. It is a really nice place.

Nearly 2,000 acres of trees and rustic old New York State farmland had a really special vibe about it. It was a place you could get naked and streak, make love under a blanket or just chill. It took on the usual cosmopolitan feel of a landmark when we got to the museum. But the museum was cool, among the exhibits that got me were the photos of Woodstock that never made it to magazines or newspapers.

Among the displays were the “Magic Bus” and I loved the 60’s Timeline display and the Civil Rights and the Rights Revolution display. But we didn’t stay long. To shorten this story we found ourselves at a wedding, two lovers who, young at heart, couldn’t hide the fact they were in their 60’s (neither could Melanie Safka or Eric Burdon). “I can’t believe N.F. man, RJ you believe what he pulled off.” “Shut up Ben and go with it.”


N.F., looked the part, light brown salt and pepper graying hair, Charlie Manson facial features, with his hair pulled back into a pony tail reminiscent of the hippie’s of the 60’s. N.F. had the long moustache, civil war sideburns and Malcom X sunglasses to finish of his total 60’s look. N.F. looked like an icon of the counterculture revolution and really fit the scene and feel of Woodstock (thing is he looks like that every day).

As the wedding of Tom and Lea started the maid of honor wore a tiara of flowers as Norman Greenbaum’s, “Spirit in the Sky” drifted from the stage speakers and filled the site with sound bringing a ‘groovy vibe’ to the whole scene. There was barbeque and other goodies being served. Jack Bruce of Cream and the Animals did some tunes and then got into jeans and sat on the lawn with the rest of us.

It was kind of awesome the partly sunny sky turned into a light rain as the groom read his vows as the retired old Judge did his thing. It was kind of romantic to see Tom giving Lea a long kiss in the gentle rain. The spirit of the 60’s was alive and real and age didn’t mean a thing, kids (teens, 20’s and 30’s to me) were caught up in the groove and the happenings were really a gas, the chicks in tie dye and tight jeans were awesome, dig?

Flo and Eddie (Turtles) were way to busy crackin’ jokes, I would have liked to hear more music from them though. Melanie sounded great for a broad that was a teen 40 some years ago and her son was really good on guitar. Jack Bruce and Eric Burdon took over the show in the last half and it was great. What was cool was all of us, the crowd, band and backstagers singing “Happy Together” with the Turtles.

As we got back to the house we kept our own little Woodstock going with Marty playing guitar and having a sing-a-long. Ben was hyper and a bit anal retentive as Becky got loose and had fun dancing by the fire, singing and having a good time.


“N.F. tell Becky to behave.” “Stop freakin’ Ben, un-tighten your ass, if you can’t get into what Marty’s layin’ down, get your old lady, get to the crib and get laid, otherwise leave her here and flake out…DIG! N.F. then took a long swallow of ice cold brew as Ben looked confused.


I looked at Ben and said, “the 60’s were a time of peace and love, seems to me you were born way too late. Next time leave the uniform at home.” “I’m not wearing my uniform, RJ.” N.F. said “Take a hit of this and chill Ben…maybe then you’ll get it. Dig.”

RJ

ARE YOU INFECTED?

HIV / AIDS UNDER REPORTED; INFECTION IS MORE PREVALENT THAN BELIEVED

I’ve gotten myself tested for HIV twice in the last three years. I did so because I have had unprotected sex about five years ago and have been celibate ever since. Why share this information? There are several misconceptions about HIV/AIDS and it seems that Americans living in America just won’t seem to get past myth and hype to learn the truth.

I’m beating this drum again because some new information about AIDS and HIV has hit the news only to be buried quickly under pressure from the Bush Administration (an administration that is the very symbol of government failure). I love my family, my friends, the people in my community, the folks in my world. I need them to know the truth so I share with you this:

In a report by Miriam Falco of CNN, titled “CDC: More Americans HIV-positive than previously believed” are some of the following statistics; "About 56,000 people became infected with HIV in the past year, which translates to about 40 percent more cases than officials had estimated, said Dr. Kevin Fenton, director of the CDC's National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD and TB Prevention."

"Previous CDC estimates suggested about 40,000 new people were infected each year. But those estimates used 'limited data and less precise methods,' said the center, which is now using technology capable of determining when someone was infected. The new method can indicate whether someone has been infected with HIV during the previous five months, rather than relying on statistical models. Diagnosis of HIV can occur years after infection, said Dr. Fenton."

“The fact that 56,000 Americans each year are contracting HIV for the first time is a wake-up call for all of us in the U.S.," Fenton said. “These numbers are a scathing indictment of how profoundly U.S. and CDC HIV prevention efforts have failed," said Michael Weinstein, president of AIDS Healthcare Foundation, which calls itself "the nation's largest provider of HIV/AIDS medical care."

In the United States, more than 1 million people are living with HIV, and about one-fourth of them are unaware they have the virus, the CDC said. According to the report, 53 percent of new HIV infections occur in homosexual or bisexual men. African-Americans account for 45 percent, or 25,000 new cases annually, meaning they are seven times more likely to contract HIV than whites.

The report went on to say, “Since the mid-1990s, antiretroviral therapies have turned HIV and AIDS into more of a chronic illness rather than a death sentence. Until a vaccine is developed, getting infected people on antiretrovirals as early as possible would improve their long-term outcome.

The new data is scheduled for publication in the peer-reviewed Journal of the American Medical Association. The report's release is meant to coincide with the opening Sunday of the the biannual International AIDS Conference in Mexico City, Mexico.” (From Miriam Falco, CNN)

You must get tested! If you or someone your having sex with ever had unprotected sex for the last five to seven years you need to get tested! Not knowing you might have HIV/AIDS is dangerous to you and those you love. Not getting tested for HIV/AIDS is as stupid as playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver. Your Doctor should have oral testing kits for HIV /AIDS, if not, find a Doctor that does.


Go to http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/ . To reference the CNN report go to http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/08/02/hiv.cdc/index.html#cnnSTCText

GET TESTED NOW!

RJ

Friday Night at the Lounge

Ruby was behind the bar when I walked in the door, Brad was with his boss, Knucklehead, shooting pool. Thank goodness Timmy was at the bar talking to none other than Breezy. (Breezy shaved his beard and moustache) Breezy was in and out but had a friend with him this afternoon, I couldn’t believe that she was not at work, but there she was, Shelly hanging out in what was once the ancient dive now known as ‘the Lounge’.

All was cool when Timmy and I hijacked the jukebox and got everybody into that singing kind of mood. Shelly waited for a cab and Breezy said he would be back later. Breezy never came back and I’m not sure Shelly got into a cab. Chucky walked in without his four legged side kick who was probably out to stud all the bitches in the neighborhood. Chucky filled me in on the adventures of his neighbor, Pimp.

Pimp was in the Lounge yesterday doing what he usually does, offer girls or other goods for sale. Pimp is constantly trying to sell something, but Thursday he nearly bought himself a reservation at the Nassau County Jail. Apparently he didn’t pay to much attention to the clientele in the Lounge, three new faces came in and ordered drinks. Ruby, having her doubts, asked where they were from and then asked for ID. Good call, they were all Detectives, Nassau Counties finest.

Pimp walked in after Ruby found this out and asked one of them if he was interested in a Korean girl looking for a companion and American Citizenship. Although he slurred his words and dropped his cell phone he wasn’t hauled off to jail. Apparently he had packages for sale to but slipped on his way out to the car and when he got in it he stayed there. Pimps new buddies left but asked about him and they left a number for Pimp to call to follow up on his offers.

There was a group of females at the front of the bar from the local Vets office up the block. They were partying pretty good, I’ll call them Conchita (Vet assistant bitten by dogs), Reebie and Sade’. As Timmy and Chucky filled me in on Shelly and Jon’s fishing adventure, Ruby was relieved by Jaime who has weird luck on her Friday Night shifts. Jaime claims she gets weirdo’s and creeps on Friday’s. This night would be a small exception.

The Met Fan was in to watch the game and have a good time, his buddies were in the bar and he was having a good time. Then Conchita’s husband, Julio showed up and started a whole lot of shit, pushing Conchita around like a heavy bag on a chain. Then the punches, pulling and screaming went on, the Met Fan left the bar like it caught fire as Timmy attempted to bring peace to the Lounge.

When Julio told Timmy to ‘get the fuck away’ in his broken spanglish, Jamie dropped a dime and the cops showed up. Julio apparently ripped out Conchita’s nipple ring before he left the bar after finding out the cops were on the way. Conchita’s girlfriends kept shit going with Julio as he ducked into his car and took off. Conchita was madder than a rabid dog. Cops showed up, took statements and left, but Conchita and her girlfriends stayed for even more drinks.

Conchita was a firecracker and a half, talking a mile a minuet and convinced she was going to have Julio arrested. Cho’ showed up as Julio ran off and Cho’ got Julio’s license number. Conchita kept shit going, but Timmy got her cooled off in a New York minuet and then Conchita apologized. Ruby showed up to find out what the fuck was going on and was with her boyfriend.

Jaime’s boyfriend and his buddy showed up then left when they realized the cops had driven off.
Jaime was pissed off that she was essentially alone and had no one to back her up. Enter Mr. E’s brother, Suave. He was in to fix up the bar and work in the basement, he saw the goings on and didn’t even worry when he saw Timmy working the room. He went back to work. Jaime was straight up worried because she felt threatened by Conchita who now blamed her for the mess Conchita made herself. Jaime kept serving her liquor during and after the fight.

Before this totally turned into a scene from Pulp Fiction or a scene from a Kubrik movie, Mr. E. showed up. By this time everybody was cooling off and Mr. E was devouring a blooming onion from the Outback. Now the Cops were out of sight, I took this time to do the same trick and got out of sight. This was one night I was sorry I hung out. When domestic problems find their way into a bar, there are more problems than meet the eye.

Timmy saw Suave working on the electricity and started laughing to himself. I asked what was so funny. Timmy said, “He reminded me of a redneck joke I heard when I saw him standing up there with that screwdriver.” Tell my Timmy, go ahead! Timmy looked at me and asked, “What are the last words a Redneck says before he dies?” What? “Y’all Watch This.”


RJ

Public Service Announcement #1 for August

National Girlfriends Day

I miss the lesbians. There I said it. Not all the lesbians, not the mean, condescending, paranoid, defensive and vicious lesbians, but the fun ones who used to come out and hang with the neighborhood old boys and have fun. Fun, that ranged from conversations to dance, from playing Joker Poker to throwing darts, from doing Jello shooters to shooting pool. Actually there has been a fall off in most all bars and taverns of women, straight and lesbian.

Why? There are a great many social problems that effect women much harder than men. From finance, to include the mortgage mess, job loss, under employment, single motherhood, health issues and domestic violence. Other than those obvious and average life issues, there is no reason to not see more of them in local drinking establishments. Nevertheless, there hasn’t been so few women in bars since the great pussy drought of the 1950’s (reference Richard Pryor).

Those in your late 40’s or early 50’s were the fortunate ones in American Society because you remember a time when ‘love was free’, gas was cheap, and performers could really sing (not just about bitches, niggers and ass but about love, peace and passion). Now we long for those days again, but we cannot have yesterday and pray to be here tomorrow. You can argue about the loss of morality, the indecency and insensitivity of men or the proliferation of sex as a commodity, but women are still suffering more than men.

So for you women who love women, or like me, those men who love women, I need you, this day the 1st Day of August to give your girlfriend (even if she is a woman and not a girl) some care and tenderness. Why today? Its National Girlfriends Day. Yes, the government, as useless as it is, has set aside a day for girlfriends. So to all you girls who look out for your girlfriend on all fronts, family, job, religion and parties, here is some information for you (and you guys too).

So for all you girls who have girlfriends I wish to pass on some encouragement from my not so politically correct point of view. I ask that you just not consider but do the following for your girlfriend:

1) EAT HEALTHY! In your stressed out, misdirected and confused world you do everything on the run, you look out for everyone around you and give sound advice but you don’t follow your own advice and eat anything you can get your hands on or sometimes on what you can barely afford. Eat well, if you can’t by or afford food call your girlfriend or if you have cooked up a storm think of someone you can share a meal with, look out for girlfriend.

2) BE ACTIVE AND HAVE FUN! Though your world and all that is in it has you on the brink of a significant devastating mental or physical breakdown, steal the time to do something that works your body. Walk, run, dance, or anything else physical (sex doesn’t count unless its more than 4 times a week, if you do, you’re a freak).

3) BE SUPPORTIVE WHEN THINGS GET ROUGH! Girlfriends dealing with chronic illness from AIDS to Cancer need your support. Talking, walking, sitting and holding hands can be just enough for someone you love to get by for the next day. Supporting a friend going through disease or domestic abuse (a social disease) can be rough on both of you. Recognize what involvement can do to you and know your own limits.


4) FACE THE FACTS, TELL THE TRUTH! If girlfriend is living a self destructive life, not caring for herself, not caring for her family, or giving into the traps of addiction to drugs, abusing relationships, or abusing prescription drugs – tell her! Also see what you can do about getting her professional help. (There are more resources than you think and they are available and they work).

5) WATCH OUT FOR ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO! Don’t let these social demons come between you and your girlfriend. Going out to the bar for a few or hanging out in a cozy corner can be fun, but don’t give into doing anything drunk, like operating a vehicle or making decisions about relationships. Second hand smoke is more toxic than straight inhalation, be considerate. If you love girlfriend you’ll look out for her.

6) BE A ROLE MODEL! Yeah girls, do it right, get medical examinations, vaccinations and dental needs taken care of. Handle work stress, children, marriage and life with diligence and care also back each other up. (Those of you with husbands know they may be great providers but are not good with many life details – like shopping)

If you love girlfriend you need to look after her. You guys need to do the same thing and do it with full attention and intent. Women have a way of making guys space out every once in a while. Married women know this truth and don’t really bug men when they hide in the garage, tool shed, barn or bar. So men look out for girlfriend. Women, look out for and love girlfriend all you can. This way we can end the current pussy drought and get the straight women and lesbians back among us.

I suggest you observe National Girlfriends Day not just for the day but for the month. Take Girlfriend and give her your total attention.

For more information go to: http://www.cdc.gov/women/girlfriends/index.htm.

Love!

RJ