Scaryoke Night

Well, some things resonate with a person as time goes on, “Scaryoke Night” was one of those events. Not just because of the costumes, the songs or the alcohol, but because of the mood. It was kind of mellow for a Halloween Night.


I remember a lot, I remember because I drank slow and was afraid of what a mix of medication and alcohol could do to me. I didn’t grab the mike because I was still in some possession of my mind. I know I can’t sing.

Yeah, I walked in kind of early and shot pool, a doubles game with Dusty and Yaega Lee, I was teamed up with Daria. She was real happy about that. S.D. showed up looking like Beetlejuice on acid, and was just as wild. S.D. took off for another party but vowed to return (He did).


Pimp staggered in and was being pretty cool (he hadn’t started drinking yet).


Ruby and Shelly were in costume too, Ruby’s dress was definitely in keeping with Halloween but kinda on the sexy side. She roasted me over some things she saw in the blog but she served me anyway and was very kind.


Shelly was in an all white, skin tight baseball outfit with mini skirt. I strained my neck to getting a better look. If you saw the costume you would have tried to get all the looking in you could. They were in preKareoke shakedown mode.

Dino, showed up and was with Mickey and Alice (Friend of Gino’s) Alice was dressed as Laura Croft in camouflage utilities (sun glasses did work for her). Mickey was dressed like Johnny Cash. As the crowd filtered in I watched a couple I never saw before, some loud nasty blonde bimbette with big 1950’s hair was talking trash to Shelly and Ruby. A meeting of current and former bartenders at the mythical 1762 establishment had a powwow at the end of the bar.

The bartender conspiracy included Yaega Lee, Daria, Ruby, Shelly and Gin. I think big hair was mad that her man was giving Shelly second looks (third and fourth looks too). Most guys there were taking in the sights, pretty women showing off cleavage on whatever end was working, heaving breast or bouncing ass, I was glad to be in the number. Much was starting to happen as the crowd flowed in.

The Owner, Bossman walked in and was loving it, he was preaching about the Yankee future and his thoughts about who would be the new coach. As usual he shouted down and maligned anybody who wasn’t a Yankee fan and displayed that they didn’t know what the hell they were talking about. That was entertaining too. But better costumes and drama was yet to come.

Dino looked a little sad as he took his cane and started for the door, I asked, “where ya going, the party hasn’t started yet.” Dino said, “Gotta go, gotta baby sit tonight.”



My eyes opened wide, I put down my drink and said, “WHAT”. “You deaf, I’m gonna be looking after a bunch of kids this week….kinda like a NANNY now”. Dino continued, “A couple of friends of mine are going to Florida and I got their kids till they come back.”

I thought about this for 10 long seconds, I thought about what he said. This was indeed the beginning of the Halloween weekend. The events of Dino’s coming week could be the basis of a situation comedy, a police drama or live coverage on CNN. As Dino left I did utter a silent prayer begging God to keep Satan rolling on the deck laughing in gut wrenching pain, and to look after Dino. God looks after fools and drunkards. Dino should get double protection.

Talk about divine deviates, I couldn’t believe what walked in next. Pregnant Lily dressed like a Nun, (scary thing is she looked so like the real deal) and everybody knew she was pregnant. Bossman said words to the effect of, “she’s from where…Our Lady of the Drunken Hooker, a Nun of the Immaculate Deception”. The ‘Nun’ carried a cross and would later be seen holding a cross and scimitar (hooked knife) with her soda in between.

Pregnant Lilly’s buddy that night was a thoroughly gorgeous, young, tall blonde bombshell dressed a long tight black skirt, aqua and white stripped shirt with a red scarf. She is allegedly a manhater, Celina had all heads turning at one point or another during the evening. The evening was just starting. Mallory showed up and went through the painfully tedious setup with nearly no help. Bossman solicited help from some big dudes to help Mallory get the gear in.

Ka’cee showed up without Ka’tee and was having a good time. I wanted to get to where she was but didn’t stray to far from my seat since I was having a problem standing.


Shelly ran the show behind the bar with plenty of backup from Ruby and Gin. The show began and we started to get a number of singers. Everyone was mellow. Some woman was trying to pickup any man she could. The Met Fan hid from her like he was on the FBI most wanted list.

Then the show stopping act of the night arrived at the mike, Pregnant Lilly and Celina got with Mallory and conspired on their song. It was oxymoronic to say the least.


Pregnant Lilly gently rocked touching herself and Celina as the song started, then they belted out, “Like a Virgin, touched for the very first time, Like a Virrrrgin…”. I was laughing so hard it hurt. During the back part of this number the Pimp ran behind the bar, he was nearly castrated, Shelly was pissed.

Bossman scolded the Pimp, but being in a good mood, Bossman refrained from putting his foot in Pimp's ass. S.D. and Daria did a duet together, I forget the song, it was romantic and sweet. Again, I sat down holding my sides quietly wiping tears from my eyes in laughter. There were two trains, that is chain dances that went through the bar. The first one was really fun. The second one led by Pimp leading the dance backward because it was Celina who was in front of him.

Pimp was hitting on any woman he could with liquor on his breath and a limp (like Pimp actually had a chance). After the chain dance some more singing and more good fun, Pimp had to show out again shouting “do you want me to leave”. Shelly quickly answered affirmatively as she pointed his staggering ass toward the door.

Apparently somewhere in the shuffle Pimp pissed off Daria. Daria jerked pimp with one arm like he was a perp in cuffs, jerked him right into her chest and told him to get the fuck out after he tried to re-adjust the Met Fans back.

Then the night wound down, everybody was still mellow, Ka’cee left and Ka’tee showed up on the back end of the night. Then Cary showed up. There was a light cheer from the crowd.

After two stone soul duets, Mallory and Cary had the crowd begging for more, but it was the end of the night, Scaryoke was over, but the show did go on. The bar looked like it had been nuked. Bossman had left, some squaring away was done but not much. Folks were coming in and out of the ancient dive all night. When things seemed that they were getting quiet around 4 AM (yeah, I didn’t want to miss anything and I didn’t), things got stirred up again.

I remembered that everyone was bone tired. Shelly and Ruby were squaring away the place trying to run out the door. It was 4:04 AM, Jon and Cowboy E were still around, a few others then…the front door blasted open, a guy with a cape over his face stumbled to the bar and ordered a beer. Half startled we stared to the front of the bar, the Pimp said “well can I get a drink”. Shelly was obviously bent out of shape, and it made her look more sexy in that baseball costume. Pimp was ousted out.

Again at 4:26 AM Pimp, in the same sorry disguise came back in. Shelly went nuclear on Pimp’s drunken ass, Jon went into firefighting mode. It ended with Pimp again staggering to his automobile, getting into it and driving off. One of these days Halloween will be even scarier if Pimp doesn’t listen to the chorus of bartenders who have attempted to take his keys from him.
Otherwise it was a real good night.

Later.

Love.

RJ